"Dreamer, you stupid little dreamer." - Supertramp
I'm running a little low on blogging material, so I'll return to wallow in my own abyss for the time being. Well, it's now less of an abyss and more like a really deep lake.
I've decided that this self-analysis needs some rules, some restrictions, some simplification.
I've decided that this self-analysis needs some rules, some restrictions, some simplification.
Rule #1: No daydreaming.
It have made it a habit to daydream, to think up different ways I could live or change my life to be happier, more satisfied. Well, I have decided this is too dangerous. It imprisons me in a false reality. I've realized that just because I can think something up doesn't make it possible, and I can't want something badly enough to make it happen. Although this rule is going to be nearly impossible to implement, the least I can do is to put less effort and less belief into daydreaming.Rule #2: Think ahead, but not too far.
As an example, I've been thinking that maybe this whole grad school dilemma is a little premature. Now, that might be a little counter-intuitive considering I am on the verge of completing a bachelor's degree - wouldn't it be the best time to think about grad school? In a mini-epiphany I've figured that schools will always be there and I will always have (by this time next summer) a bachelor's degree. So why waste my time forcing life into happening when I could be letting it happen, living it? Maybe by this time next year I'll be preparing for grad school, maybe I won't. I'm just going to wait it out. Things change. People change. I might not even want to go to grad school after all. So, I have resolved to think of the immediate future, only a couple months in advance. After all, if I think too far ahead, I'm apt to daydream.
Rule #3: Eyes on the prize.
Now, this whole "go with the flow" philosophy might be a danger in itself - I don't want to become ambitionless, meandering, an aimless twit threatening to go nowhere. Eventually I would love to put "PhD" at the end of my name, I'd love to have money, to travel, to start a family.... I just have to keep those goals in the back of my mind. Ultimately, I want to be happy, and in order to be happy now, I should be living in The Now.
It actually took me a long time to write this. Off and on I have added and modified little bits. It's still just a bit of self-indulgent bosh, though.
It actually took me a long time to write this. Off and on I have added and modified little bits. It's still just a bit of self-indulgent bosh, though.
5 Comments:
Hello Krista.
This is a long overdue reply because I really enjoy reading your blog. A like your general view of life. (And whenever someone uses an image of oneself like you do, joke or no joke, I like the rebellious meaning of it.
Maybe I'm reading to much into it but I like the image nonetheless.
Also, I want to say thanks for the tip on the CBA.pdf file. I just saw your comment today when I did a little testing of how posts saved as drafts appear on the blog etc. It was as simple as you needed the adobe reader to read it, not some other - and superior - reader like The Foxit Reader. Interesting stuff huh?
Take care.
Hey Krista, did I ever ask what your degree was in? If you don't mind...
M. Bergman: Ah, my profile picture is more of a joke than not.... well, really, its purpose is to hide the majority of my face. It's old, too - I now have different specs and better-shaped eyebrows.
Mlle Karen: I am working towards a BSc. Specialization Immunology and Infection. It's a joint science-med program thingy. A lot of kids take it in preparation for med school, but I'm not (at least I don't think I am). I like it because it combines my loves for physiology and microbiology. I think it's the largest program in the Faculty of Science outside the general program. Ideally I would be in Honours, but I was a Chemistry major for my first two years (but I only took four chem courses), and decided on IMIN afterwards.
the time has come to ... galvanize! i`m in the computer lab right now. it`s raining. but it`s hot and humid. a very strange combination.
It's always good to go into that self pity, introspective, yada yada bull-crap. Then you can go forward and do more important things. I think that's what I did, though my blog is generally whiny anyway. So I've decided something: I am going to branch out and learn something about sports other than football (you know, American football). I am slowly learning. It will take me some time, but I will blog something that would make you proud!
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